2 Sides of a Coin

DEDICATION

For Akubaeze, whether our paths ever cross again or not.

What’s that thing they say about ‘Ogbanjes’?

One having to go for the other to come, or perhaps reincarnation; whatever! I really can’t quantify or bring to terms the negative and positive effects service year had on me, I’m sure you reading this can understand me right?

I’m just trying to say many ills had to take occur for lines to fall into place.

First off, I was unsure I was going to make it to service year alongside my classmates. The thing is I was just the nonchalant kid who was lucky to have scaled through school without issues and so when others were making their beds to lie on comfortably at night; I was only washing my bedsheets… ‘LOL’, Hope you get the picture now.

I was just very ‘not serious’… and fortunate. I’m one lucky bitch when it comes to friends (you’d understand fully when you’ve heard my service year gist), but to cut a long story short, Omari my best friend saved my ass. She literally saw to it that I was cleared alongside others hence my name was shortlisted for mobilization. Looking back, this wasn’t lucked; it was the sheer effort of a true friend despite her condition, (now, I feel a tear strolling down my face).

Registration was one hell-of-a stressful expedition, and as it so happens; my friends and I were making plans to serve in the same state but luck wasn’t a lady with us on that one. We were spread thin like butter on bread, scattered to the far ends of the country. I finally needed to put my shit together and start a new life.

I remember that morning our posting letters were published, Electra called to relay what we perceived as at that time bad news, I didn’t know how to feel, so I went back straight off to bed.

I packed my bags and made it to camp a few days after that publication, not without fervent prayers from my parents and guardians though. The anointing oil that flowed down my head that morning I’d believe later was what brought me all the blessings in the coming year.

--- Camp;

National Youth Service Orientation Camp Asaya Kabba, was a different world entirely. However, my mind was made up to relish each moment I spent in that cage (I choose to call it that).

80% of the people I met under a sparse of 3 weeks made up my circle in the coming year…Camp was stressful; no one who has gone through this phase will agree less.

For some of us who had a flair for broadcasting, it didn’t take us time to join the camp station popularly addressed as OBS, though it served mostly as an escape route for corps members who hadn’t the energy to go through the strenuous activities that poised as life in the camp.

It was in fulfilment of Reporter duties that I met Lami LieLie, a typical Yoruba demon with dark skin and protruding eyes that shone like thief man touch. You could not help but fall into the warmth of his generous and contagious smile, the one that always seemed to light up his face. I realized later that this fellow was calm whatever the circumstance and listened as attentively –even for hours on end-as, he could engagingly carry on a conversation. His first impression; I cannot remember either can I forget. On a certain occasion, he came up to me and said something about me and bras… something he had picked up from my see-through cheap T-Shirt.

I would have described him as good-natured but not for my mom who called him a mischievous fellow from their first meeting, now I couldn’t agree less. We soon became gist companions on those long boring social night with me mostly telling him about my awesome relationship (which at that time wasn’t so awesome) and convincing him to read Gary Chapman’s “5 Languages of LOVE”, my favourite book of 2017. We struck insane levels of cool in such a short scope of time, I might have passively mentioned him to my boyfriend.

Also, I met Prince; my soon to be neighbour, Adina, now with the Lord; my number one lover, Chidinma; the zealous one, My bunkmate Lade, my OBS super crew, the awesome platoon members who I got to work with to make a wonderful carnival experience.

My plethora of friends did not just end with corps members as I soon won the hearts of many camp officials, one of whom introduced me to the kind-hearted Mr Ohis.

Sooner than I realized, my 21 days in camp elapsed and the real journey began. Leaving Camp, I had learnt the value of teamwork and because I was leaving camp alive, I’d drove to use this value to its fullest potential.

The journey to the much sort after town Lokoja, was neither smooth nor was it patchy? I came into the company of an association affiliated with the Catholic Church, National Association of Catholic Corpers (NACC)

However, after a night spent in the NACC lodge, I knew that living there was going to be next to impossible so with the help If Dear Uncle Lami (Spoiler Alert; that’s not his real nam)e I moved into a hostel. There, I’d meet another group of persons that’ll eventually become family to me. Meet Mukky, Famvie and Raymond, the new family that addressed me as Clare… (Explanation is on its way, the thing is; I have a lot of names).

My Parents christened me Irene-Mary. Clare came in during my Confirmation rites as a Catholic in 2005 and has since been added to my list of approved names. Clare became the Lokoja certified name because Dear ‘Yoruba Demon’ Lami said he preferred it to all my other names, so because he was the one doing the introductory rites to this new family, Clare was used. (We won’t go further on this topic).

Subsequently, when I returned from my two weeks break as approved by the scheme, I had to put up with a close friend’s family, the Ubunama’s (may God reward this family) for a couple of weeks to enable me source for my own place which kindheartedly was sorted by my parents and Amare.

--- Lokoja;

Lokoja life soon began with me moving into my own place, aside from the fact that my twin was with me at this time, I was denied the monthly allowance aka alloweee due for corps members for two straight months. How was I to survive this if God wasn’t by my side using all the people around me to bless me? This experience taught me a big life lesson too. I wasn’t supposed to know someone to offer help in any way I could. These people who supported me weren’t people I had known prior to this time, Ohis, Eben and Lami (Real Name; Fisayo), they were friends I had made from service.

It wasn’t all rosy though as I soon fell into a depression that lasted about 5 months. Even though I can’t entirely tell how this depression began, I know that it will be the harbinger of a failed relationship and a relapse into alcohol (Dear Mukky would subsequently address me as an alcoholic). Of course, to every other person, I was just a “small and happy corper” as I looked like one who was having fun in the most real sense of it.

Friends like Vera appeared when I resumed work fully at Kogi State Broadcasting Corporation (Radio Kogi), and I got to ascertain that it was God who chose my friends.

When my sister left for Calabar, the loneliness I felt inside drove me to the comfort of Mukky and Mary’s house and this resulted in the start of a wonderful relationship. Everything we did, we did in unity and thanks to the mutual friends we made/shared, we soon started having awesome weekends.

The new family helped me turn a blind eye to the darkness I felt for Lokoja and soon, I began to see the light. We were hanging out, trying new meals, going places, building strong relationships with God and having a wonderful time. I mean what is travelling to a new place without exploring cultures and discovering different values?

“Travel is a fantastic self-development tool because it extricates you from the values of your culture and shows you that another society can live with entirely different values and still function and not hate themselves. This exposure to different cultural values and metrics then forces you to reexamine what seems obvious in your own life to consider that perhaps it’s not necessarily the best way to live”

-Mark Mason

Today I am proud to call my girls; sisters for what they truly are and having my back nearly all the time.

--- Accommodation;

I grew up with family, even when my parents (not literally) dumped us in a boarding house in Akwa Ibom State. I wasn’t far away from home. During my university days, I had friends who’d suggest I come live with them or I get my own place since my house was far away from campus but I didn’t bulge.

The story changed when I went for service. I needed to have a place of my own and begin to learn the act of independence. Because I was used to staying with family, I wasn’t so thrilled about this new development. The lodge allocated to catholic corps members didn’t trip me, so money had to be raised from here and there to enable me acquire my own place.

I remember the day I moved into my new house with the help of friends, a part of me was indifferent, whilst the other part was hopeful for an awesome year experience in the new environment. My neighbours were two people I had grown familiar with in camp; Prince and Anna. Listen to this, if I went through thick and thin in Lokoja and made it through, it was because God sent this duo into my life.

I earned the name Chief Chef because I’d cook whatever I wanted to, and couldn’t do that without having these two taste it. We were a family. It was okay to be in each other’s room late into the night talking about stuff (at this moment, I can’t even recall a thing about our conversations). I cannot forget to add that while Prince was the house entertainer, Anna’s prayers kept us bonded. I am yet to meet a fellow as spirit-filled as her.

--- Friends;

If ever I am to blame part of my madness on any soul, it definitely would be Mukky and Vera. These two were my mum buttons; being around them made it easy to let loose and be carefree.

On one of our adventures, we went out trying Bukas for the benefit of cheap meals (putting our stomach at risk), Mukky and I had gone to one popular outlet at night when we discovered she had mistakenly wore the back of her outfit. Not minding the flock of visitors, she adjusted her dress without a flinch. These were my kind of friends.

Vera could break a leg if someone dared as much as coming close to talking to me. This was good because I learnt the art of thuggery from her. She was fearless, relentlessly yet an absolutely lovely being with all the positive energy in the world.

My parents wondered how I survived periods of lack and want. My friends and I had a fair share of it, so in other to help ourselves, we’d move into whoever's house was capable of hosting at the time being. There were days when we drifted apart, each minding her business and meeting only during weekends; of course, we all had our lives to live. It was during these periods that I drifted into tiny moments of recollections.

--- Clearance;

Clearance for Corps Members served as an ample opportunity to see faces of old friends we had made in camp. Yes! There were people I saw only once a month. We would exchange pleasantries, scream at how good looking some of us had become. Comments like; “Lokoja sweet for your body o” or “You sure say you be Corper?” were common phrases that complimented good looks amongst corp members.

I was so nonchalant about joining a CDS group. Having been assigned to one, I soon ran off because I didn’t want to be subdued with responsibilities (You just called me lazy, I know). I had resolved to be “invisible” throughout my service year. However, I changed my CDS group 2 months after my resumption to SAED (Service Delivery) and sooner than I thought, I was made Director of Socials (farewell my dreams of invisibility). After this appointment, I had no choice but to get on serious with attending CDS meetings every Thursday.

--- Finance;

Do I need to bore you with my financial status in the course of the year? I remember mentioning earlier that I was denied two whooping months allowance from the FG. Don’t ask me oh because I too cannot explain why this befell me.

My Primary Place of Assignment (PPA) didn’t help matters either. One would think that for a Corps member working with the State Broadcasting Corporation, money wouldn't be a problem but in a locale where the state government workers were denied salary for several months… You can as well call my dreams of cash wishes as I was paid nothing, but expected to be at work every weekday and on occasion weekends too. My father calls it diligence to one’s fatherland, I couldn’t agree less.

--- Exploration;

The idea was to turn my service year into a travel expedition, tour as many states as possible and write about my travel experiences for the world to read; but Yay, I’m guessing you read the sub-sect; Finance. It wasn’t cool, but I made a couple of journeys.

Abuja, the capital city of Nigeria is two hours away from Lokoja and since my Parents reside there, it was easy to make journeys home on some weekends. However 5 months before ending the service year, I stopped going home for no apparent reason if I might just add.

On one of my visits home, I attended the Abuja Makeup Fair 2017 as an exhibitor for Babazi Beauty. This was one of the greatest opportunities that ever crossed my path; it gave me room for networking with Nigeria’s finest beauty moguls, makeup brands and individuals. After this fair, the motivation to have a logo and complimentary cards made drove me into opening my business officially and Rina Brushes was officially born (Thanks to my graphic designers Jesam Wonah, Mr Nduka and my Brand Ambassador, Mukky).

I went to Lagos too. ICYMI; before I left for service, my best friend took in and around September, I became a God-Mother of a bouncing baby girl full of life. I made a trip to Lagos in February of 2018 to witness her baptism and dedication; she was named Mitchell. I consider my experience in Lagos my favourite in the whole year.

I lost my chance to visit Osun State as well as all the awesome places I had in mind to visit but I’m alive so there’ll be other adventures in the nearest future.

After what I consider a lot of years, I made it to Benin for its first-ever makeup fair assisting Babazi Beauty exhibit and sell of their products (You really should check them out… You’re welcome in Advance). It was a wonderful opportunity too to meet with Electra, she was the only friend I had't seen since we left for service.

As you may know, I went on this trip with my brand ambassador and friend, Mucky.

--- Christmas;

I spent my Christmas holiday in the paradise city of Calabar. Having left the city for about 7months, my welcoming was quite grand from the friends and family I hadn’t seen in months. It was also during this period that I ended things with the love of my life; Amare.

Whatever plans I had set for NYSC, breaking up from a one year and seven-month relationship wasn’t one of them. I cannot categorically explain why things had to end between us but I am certain however that distance was a major factor. Also, spare me the “absence makes the heart grow fonder” theory. It just didn’t work for us. While I was a lazy and unplanned caller, he was a loner so when it ended, it shattered my heart a few hundred times but opened my already damaged brain to forging on with life and reading books (these sustained my sanity and forged me into being a better person). Yes, this was light at the end of the tunnel.

You know the phrase “when a door closes, somewhere God opens a window”?, I guess I got lucky with the revelation that books could serve as a consolation for my breakup because it has been one.

I was sick a couple of times, sometimes I thought I wasn’t going to make it, my eyes developed issues too, but I guess it pays to serve Jesus. Spiritually, I started the service year with a goal to study the word of God and take up religious activities seriously but this soon changed when the depression set in. I am only thankful that even after all this time, I bounced back and developed a stronger relationship with God.

--- Birthday;

My birthday during the service year I will say has been my best so far. I guess the way it turned out just made me realize that I was deeply loved and cared for. Fisayo shares a birth date with me, whilst Mukky’s comes a few days afterwards.

--- Other Happenings;

I forgot to mention that in the course of the service year, I had visitors from home. First, it was Twinnie, whom I addressed as the co-owner of the house. Living with her was like being married and staying with your spouse. From us both, I learnt patience, kindness and meekness of heart to mention but a few. Guess who was next? FineboY! He made it to Lokoja and it was worth every bit of it.

Koko came too. Who will believe that he'd come all the way to Lokoja from Calabar to see me, kind gestures such as this I cannot forget in a hurry.

My last days in Lokoja were quite memorable both in positive and negative ways. I feel that at this time, I had grown attached to the family I had made and almost parted ways with the family before. I lost friends in the same way as I made many, maybe I didn’t know how to be friends with everybody at the same time.

Unfortunately for me too, I developed a bittersweet feeling because I had it in mind that I was going to see them no more and finally learn how to make decisions on my own.

Passing out of NYSC came with curtailing of youthful exuberance and the urge to finally man up or woman up to Adulthood. Finishing NYSC also came with its own jollification. The feeling of been free gave room for merriment, hanging out with friends, and spending time with my new family. I will miss my days in Lokoja.

--- Wrap Up;

My last week was the most emotional. I couldn’t believe with my eyes that sooner than I thought, my days in the hot city were drawing to a close. The plans that we had set may not have been fully actualized, but it was worth our every stay. I remember the day I went to get my terminal clearance letter from the establishment I had worked during my service year and all the goodbyes I had to say to nearly all the members of staff, I am grateful for all their prayers and wishes. As it is mandatory to have a terminal clearance done before passing out parade and releasing of certificates, we were compelled to wearing our uniform a.k.a khaki from the first day of clearance to the last day of our passing out, in each of this days we met people we had lost contact with and people we never thought existed. Two days before passing out we got the shock of our lives as we received the abundant reward that we thought wasn’t due till the beginning of May. This I received with utmost disappointment at the scheme for giving me what was due when I wasn’t prepared for it.

However, I am grateful for my days spent in Kogi, I am grateful for the friends made and all lost. I am grateful for all the benefits that came with wearing the NYSC uniform, the free rides, free meals, favours, preferential treatments, I am grateful for the things achieved and for the memories made, but one thing is for sure, if ever I was asked to repeat the service year, I would choose Kogi State and I will choose to do it with the family I have made.